Holding My Breath: The Two Testaments of Chuck Billy with David Erickson

In Holding My Breath, Chuck Billy, lead vocalist for Testament, shares his inspiring story of his blue-collar roots, a relentless drive to succeed, and unwavering strength to survive.

Holding My Breath by Chuck Billy

For years, other fans and I have only known Chuck Billy, of the legendary thrash band Testament, as the commanding presence at the center of the stage. His imposing stature and vocal intensity are tempered by humility that shines through Chuck’s smile as he engages with us at a show. Now, in his new memoir, Holding My Breath, we are treated to an in-depth look into one of metal music’s best frontmen.

Holding My Breath is a quick and engaging read, written by Chuck Billy with David Erickson. Set for release on November 10th through Permuted Press, the book includes a foreword by Rob Halford (Judas Priest) and an afterword by Randy Blythe (Lamb of God). The center of the book contains some great photos of Chuck over the years. You’ve got to dig his high school photos!

When reading this book, I felt as if I were sitting with Chuck as he recounted stories from his life. The tone is very conversational, and as such, there can be a bit of repetition. However, that never takes away from the stories being told. If anything, it further accentuates that sense of hanging out with a friend as they share a side of themselves that few others are privileged to see.

Old Testament

Chuck breaks the book up into two testaments: old and new. In the Old Testament, Chuck reveals his origin story. He begins with a loving portrait of his parents. His father, a Pomo Indian who grew up on a reservation in Northern California, and his mother, a Mexican-American born in Yolo County in California, met in, of all places, a tuberculosis sanatorium in the late 1940s. Impossibly, they both survived, fell in love, married, and started a family.

The Formative Years

Chuck shares a number of stories from his childhood as the middle child of five boys. The Billy Boys were a precocious crew, and his stories from those days are quite entertaining. In the telling of these childhood stories, the impact his parents had on him becomes clear. You learn that Chuck’s work ethic and competitive spirit were deeply influenced by his family during these formative years. In these stories of growing up in a small California town, we see how a blue-collar, get-things-done ethic laid the foundation that would support him for the rest of his life.

Native American Heritage

Chuck takes pride in his heritage and describes spending summers on the Pomo reservation where his father grew up. Here again, the dedicated work ethic of both the Pomo and Mexican peoples is influential. He also reveals that Pomo natives are renowned for their basket weaving. His grandmother’s work can be found in the Smithsonian. At one time, both Chuck and his grandmother were part of exhibits on Native culture in the Smithsonian.

Sports Gives Way to Music

Like a lot of teenagers, Chuck Billy made partying a part of his life. Sports had been his primary focus through middle school and into high school. However, that all changed when Chuck was busted drinking after a game during his senior year. Dreams of college scholarships evaporated. With sports in the rearview mirror, playing music became his obsession.

It was interesting to learn that Chuck started out as a guitar player and only became a singer because he was hanging out with his younger brother’s band called Rampage. Without a full-time singer, they enlisted Chuck, who took the assignment to heart and put his focus on vocal lessons and becoming the powerhouse frontman that he is today. 

The Legacy of Testament

As most metal diehards are aware, the band that is Testament today was originally called Legacy. The story of how Chuck became part of this band is one of my favorite parts of the book. At the time, Chuck was in a glam band sporting spandex and playing a hybrid of Dokken-meets-Crüe. His buddy Steve “Zetro” Sousa was the lead singer in Legacy. After seeing the band for the first time, Chuck described the experience:

“Holy shit! What the hell? They’re these little evil-looking guys ripping through thrash metal, and we’re thinking, Okay, this is really good, but at the same time we’re wondering, Where’s the melody? Where are the vocal hooks?”

Zetro would go on to leave Legacy and join Exodus. This opened the door for Chuck Billy. Instead of an exhaustive tour diary, Chuck tells the story of becoming part of Testament, signing with Megaforce Records, and the wild ride as one of the leading thrash bands in the world.

Grunge and Day Jobs

When grunge sent metal back into the underground, the winds of fortune for Testament changed. The original members, such as Alex Skolnick, moved on, leaving Chuck and guitarist Erik Peterson to keep the brand of Testament alive. Chuck relays these times with blunt honesty. I was shocked to learn that things got to the point where Chuck had to take on a day job at a trucking company to make ends meet. As with his musical career, he invested himself completely into this new venture, which would end up being a lifesaver by providing much-needed medical insurance.

The C Word

At 38, Chuck Billy was diagnosed with cancer. The medical insurance from his day job allowed him to seek the care he needed. Chuck tells of going through all the phases of shock, disbelief, sadness, anger, and resolution. His wife, Tiffany, would be the rock he held on to while weathering the storm.

In addition to traditional medicines, Chuck credits Native American healings, particularly a sweat lodge ceremony, as keys to his eventual cancer remission. He adds a lot more color to this and more in the chapters dealing with this time in his life.

New Testament

Chuck credits a benefit concert for himself and Chuck Schuldiner (Death) called Thrash of the Titans as the beginning of the New Testament in his life and for the band. He also sees this as a lightning rod moment for thrash music, which would lead to the resurrection of the genre and many Bay Area metal bands.

In Holding My Breath, Chuck recalls being reinvigorated in his musical career, particularly through his time with long-time friends joining forces in what they called the Dublin Death Patrol. As Chuck describes in his book, surviving cancer and immersing himself again in metal music stripped away his need to control. This freed him to more fully appreciate his music, which in part re-ignited the flames in Testament. With Alex Skolnick back in the fold, the band was back and better than ever.

In reflection, Chuck Billy reveals that the new Chuck is a milder version of himself. While he still loves the stage and making music, he also enjoys a quiet life at home with his family. I think that is a natural evolution that many of us can relate to as we get older and hopefully wiser.

Special Thanks

I’d like to thank Chuck Billy for his music, his book, and for taking the time to chat with me on Fans With Bands. He has written a very entertaining and insightful book that will appeal to all music fans.

Also, I want to thank Maria Ferrero (Adrenaline PR). Because of her belief in Testament and pushing their demo, one of my favorite bands was signed to Megaforce Records. This launched 40-plus years of metal that I’ve been able to enjoy. Her work in promoting Testament and Chuck’s book has given me the opportunity to share my thoughts on both.

If you are interested, check out my reviews of Testament in Detroit on last year’s Thrash of the Titans tour with Overkill and Destruction.